Sunday, August 22, 2010

C.O.P.D. Here Is My Middle Finger

C.O.P.D. stands for Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease.

I thought people who smoked all of their lives were the only ones who could get C.O.P.D. but these past few weeks have proved me wrong. I have received my final diagnosis from my Pulmonary Specialist this week and it's that I have C.O.P.D. but not because of smoking (I NEVER smoked...NEVER!) but it's due to the severe asthma I've been having. It is so ironic! I abhor smoking! I loathe it! I'm allergic to it! I leave when people smoke around me and still I...I ended up with C.O.P.D.! What a bitch of a curve life just threw me. BUT at least, finally I know what I have now. I knew, just knew something else was wrong with me. That it wasn't just asthma. At least now I don't feel like I'm crazy. At least no one can say I've been faking it. At least now I can learn how to treat it and not end up in the hospital again with the most shallow breath you can have without passing out.
At least.
I know I'm going to have good days and bad days. Today isn't one of my good days. I'm out of breath and have chest pains again so I have to take it easy and take the albuterol every 4 hours without fail. If I really think about it, it isn't so bad. Well, I'm telling myself that today. I've been listening to music all day because it helps me from hitting the wall on my depression.
I am tired of having to take it easy.
I'm tired of being out of breath.
I wish I was healthier.
Hello C.O.P.D. Meet my middle finger!

1 comment:

  1. Your post struck me for a couple of reasons... one, my wife has sever asthma, and it's because someone else smoked. Never her. It's sad, and sometimes it scares me.

    Second, because I ran my middle finger through the gears of a cement mixer many years ago (NOT on purpose!!!!), and the photo made me laugh.

    So here's to lousy experiences, and living life to the fullest anyways.