Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm Alive!

They say even good news can cause stress.  When I looked at the calendar this morning and saw the date, I understood why I've had a twitchy eye.
Three years ago today on January 19, I was told by an emergency room doctor that I should say goodbye to my family because I was dying.
My blood tests confirmed that I had ITP for the second time in my life.  The only way to save my life was with a blood platelet transfusion.  Unfortunately that morning a match for my blood type could not be found in their database for the entire state of California. With ITP I was dying. Without a blood platelet transfusion I would certainly die.
A healthy platelet count is approximately 200,000.  When it gets to 50,000, it is considered life threatening. At 10,ooo, your chances of survival are extremely slim. In fact you are not considered to be able to survive.  When I arrived at the ER, my blood tests showed my count was a mere 1,000. One thousand.
After the doctor left me, I immediately called my mother and explained what my situation was and asked her to get me a priest right away so I could receive the last rites. I also asked her to to call everyone and have them call everyone they knew to pray for me because it was going to take a miracle for me to stay alive. Very soon I was on prayer lists with churches, relatives and friends of friends.
Next I asked R to trade places with my son in my room so I could speak with him.  Do you know how hard it is to tell your child, even an adult child that you've been told you are going to die. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest!  I had a talk with Jimmy and made some requests with him on his life after I was gone. When I was done he told me to shut up!  LOL! He basically said I wasn't going to die and that he wouldn't hear me say it.  I told him that I didn't want to  and that I was praying for a miracle and I believe in miracles but just in case things needed to be said and taken care of.  What broke my heart the most was the thought of being away from my son. I still get teary eyed thinking about that time.
I received a call from my mom saying she had a hard time finding a priest. Some were on vacation, some had the day off, others were booked but she did call several churches and finally one priest was on his way. After I received this sacrament and was absolved of all my sins (oh yeah, I believe in that) I started to feel at peace. Afterwards the doctor came in and said they found a platelet match for my blood type! But it was in San Diego. A minimum two hour drive without traffic to where I was located.  And this was a Friday morning at 8AM. The traffic would be horrendous! Still he requested they drive it up in an ambulance to our hospital. Now all we had to to was pray that I'd still be alive when the San Diego platelets arrived.  Yup, that's all!
As I sat in an ER bed waiting in a hospital gown, I noticed all the spots on my arms and legs. Spots are the only symptom you have when you get ITP.  It doesn't hurt at all. There is no sick feeling, no fever, only tiny little red spots which are indication that you are bleeding under your skin. ITP is when your blood platelets count is so low that your blood can no longer clot. You can bleed to death either by a cut or internally. So when you see these spots all over, you are in fact bleeding internally.
When my mother arrives at the hospital, she and my son tell me they saw an ambulance in parking lot and wonder if it is my platelets. A short time after the ER doctor comes in and confirms it. They made the drive in 2 hours on a Friday morning in traffic! That in itself was a miracle.  The hospital checks me into a regular room and hooks up me up to the platelets.  It looks like a large plastic bag of apple sauce going into me. I was also given Prednisone and antibiotics. During my hospital stay, I had to have blood test every two hours to keep an eye on my platelet count.  Pretty soon the blood techs (i forget their true name) or as I called them, the vampires, nicknamed me spiderwoman because the only place they could get blood out of me was on the inside of one of my wrists.
My body started doing what it was supposed to do and my platelets multiplied on their own.  After a sufficient amount of time I was released to finish recovering at home.  At my next hematologist appointment he told me hardly anyone survives ITP one time and No One survives it twice like I did! He said I was a miracle. He still thinks he should check my count every six months and I'm grateful for his precaution. I happen to enjoy my life but I didn't come out of this trauma unscathed.  I ended up with a severe panic disorder, some OCD, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I can no longer drive freeways and just about a year ago started driving again on streets.  Gone are the day where I didn't worry about the little things or things I couldn't change.  I am more neurotic than I've ever been but....I'm alive.  *eye twitch*

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Long Arm of The...

The past few days and last night have been fairly normal, but this past Wednesday night was a little fun. R and I were watching our Dexter DVD, when at the same time we both saw a huge shadow move along our kitchen cabinets. I didn't say anything but R shouted he saw it and asked if I did and I answered yes. We were both relieved we saw it in the same spot at the same time. Makes us feel like we aren't losing our marbles.  We both described this shadow as a huge, long looking arm that waved itself from the bottom of the cabinets to the top of them then disappeared. We scrambled for our camera but nothing showed up in the picture. We looked around to see if anything could have made the shadow but the blinds were closed and no one was in the house at the time but us, plus since it was made between the kitchen light on the ceiling and the cabinets, I would have seen someone standing or moving there from where I was sitting in the next room.
After this incident its been quiet in the house. 
Attached is a photo of my view of the kitchen that night. 

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Paranormally Normal

As long as I can remember, I’ve had experiences that you might call paranormal.  Even so, I am not one to jump to the conclusion that something seemingly paranormal is in fact just that, but when I and others see a dark three dimensional form in the shape of man walking around our house, I find it hard to debunk.

Many unexplainable things have been happening in our home for a number of years. Sounds of dishes crashing in the kitchen in the middle of the night or day when no one is there and upon investigation, nothing is out of place. Objects flying off counters and tables for no reason.  Footsteps up and down our hallway and by the front door. Mists appearing. Shadows going along cabinets, walls, ceilings, when there is no movement from anyone. Voices of a woman, and one of a small boy, that sound like they are in the room with you but you are the only one there. But the real kicker is this dark three dimensional form in the shape of a man. We’ve been seeing him off and on for a while but only at night. He appears to be walking from the dining room area in to the front door and into the hallway where the back bedrooms and bathroom are located. And walking the same path in the opposite direction.  Now he is appearing in the daytime and with more frequency. Once R saw this male spirit walk right past me and I didn’t see him.  We’ve been trying to capture this on video and/or photographs but without any luck. Usually when you are home alone footsteps can be heard walking in the hallway. One such afternoon I heard those footsteps when I was getting out of the shower so I opened the bathroom door and continued to hear them walking back and forth in front of me. I wasn’t scared. I was perplexed. I wanted to deny they were footsteps but I couldn’t find a reasonable explanation to debunk the sound.  Before seeing this male spirit I always had the feeling that the footsteps were of a man. Maybe he is finally manifesting himself so we can see him too. Why? I don’t know. I plan do some research on this property to see if it’s history can shed any light on what is happening today. If I find anything interesting, I’ll share it here.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Oddly I feel happy and more hopeful about this new year than I ever have felt before with any other year. Normally…ok Never do I ever give a darn about starting a new year. I’ve always felt this way. But today is different and I’m grateful for it.

Looking back this past decade has changed me. I’ve been hospitalized three times and two of those times I was told I was dying. Actually dying. One of those times was a staph infection and the other time was from I.T.P.  The other hospitalization was when I fell through a glass window. I lost a lot of blood and went into shock because of it. But somehow God granted me the grace and spiritual strength to get through all of those times. I can write in more detail about those times at a later date. Right now I just want to get this blog started as one of my new year’s resolutions. I figure that I can’t afford therapy so might as well try blogging. Writing has always made me feel better but I’ve never taken the time for myself to write daily or often. This year will be different. This year, I have to pay more attention to myself and what will make me a healthier happier person. I will be honest with my feelings and my past experiences no matter how strange, odd, or crazy they may sound. So Happy New Year everyone! May this year bring you all blessings, joy, good health, prosperity, wisdom, discernment, patience, faith, hope, love, compassion, emotional/spiritual strength, friendships, understanding, and the truth of everything in this world, and the courage to stand up for the truth and justice. 

Peace to all, Susan